50. That is the number I came up with the last time I wrote it all out. That’s almost one event for every year of my life, starting with being born dead (blue). Being physically, sexually, emotionally abused as a young child without protection, guidance, and empathy. Being the scapegoat of my family. Surviving homelessness, rapes, and life-threatening domestic assaults as a teenager and young woman, without support. The death of an infant son, my first child. Single-parenthood and poverty. Grappling with compulsive self-harm, suicide attempts, and decades of alcoholism and addiction (my self-soothing buddies for so long), and reclaiming myself after years of narcissistic abuse.
This isn’t even the half of it, but don’t be sad for me, dear friends, I’m not telling you this to gain sympathetic responses. This is actually quite uncomfortable for me.
The only reason I am putting it out here like this is because several clients of mine have recently encouraged me to do so (you know who you are), so that maybe someone will read this and be infused with hope for a big change, and see me as an example of that possibility.
I thank all of you for nudging me to be more courageous about sharing my story publicly.
I have a wealth of insight from all the horror of my before story, but my favorite part, THE BEST, BEST, BEST PART, is the happiness in the after story.
It’s the emotional freedom, prosperity, love, and indescribable joy that I am consistently living today.
I’m living a life that parents, doctors, therapists, and even myself at one time, said was impossible for me to ever have.
It’s about how I got here and how I stay here that helps other trauma warriors transform their lives.
Focusing on the present and future instead of the painful details of the past is what makes trauma recovery healing instead of retraumatizing.
We’ve already lived it, right? Now it’s time to finally heal it, so we can learn to live as if it never even happened. And if that can be true for me today (and it sooo is!), then it is possible for YOU, too.💙
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