Categories
Autonomy Coping Skills Isolation Survival Mode

Ultra-Independence: Both an asset and a liability.

Ultra-independence spurred strong work ethic and comfort in being alone, but also reinforced damaging codependency.

A fierce sense of independence has been both my greatest asset and my greatest liability. It kept me alive, helped me raise two boys alone, and helped me reach many personal and professional goals.

At the same time, it kept me from trusting and loving myself and also, you. It blocked my ability to receive help and encouragement, appreciation, and love from anyone else.

It warped my view of anything spiritual.

It spurred strong work ethic and comfort in being alone, but also reinforced damaging codependency.

Attempting to bring more balance to this core sense of autonomy (instilled by trauma), has been one of my greatest challenges.

Today, I have only momentary lapses of discomfort from the survival reflexes that spout from this when fear is triggered, but my ability to remain open, positive, and trusting, is usually front and center.

I feel good MOST of the time.

Today, I can ask for and receive help and love without it threatening my sense of strength.

Today, I can say the words I vowed to never say: “I need you”.

Photo credit: Kate Kelly, ESQ | The Minds Journal

By Mia Vivone

Mia Vivone - Professional Consultant and Life Coach Specializing in Trauma