While waiting in the lobby to extend our stay at the La Wildfire Evacuation Inn, I saw this and realized my collection of snow globes and music boxes that I received from my mother over the years, is in a chest for safekeeping. 3 miles away from a fire. The collection is reminiscent of all of the years we worked together to heal our relationship. Aw man. I wanted to give those to my grand or great-grandchildren. 😳💔
Well, I am very thankful that we’re all alive, of course, and I know it could’ve been worse, but this is probably not the last time I will get a reminder of some of the things left behind that aren’t “just things”.
So, I didn’t pick up this pretty globe and throw it through the motel glass window in the lobby. The cops never showed up, and I’m not drunk. There’s a good chance that I’ll be in bed before 10 PM on a Wednesday night, as always. I guess I’ll take that as progress.
I was shocked by how I took the hit, closed my eyes, took a few slow, deep breaths, and re-centered myself. I’m practicing every coping skill that I teach to others as I’m coping with the feelings of displacement that wildfire evacuation can cause. I live with C-PTSD and any additional trauma that is added to the stack of them that is already there causes tidal waves of emotional dysregulation that demands immediate attention. As I practice the things that my clients hear me repeat over, and over, I’m reminded of my own resilience as these new ways of responding to difficult circumstances allow me to focus on self-soothing turbulent emotions before doing anything else. This new design for living also clears my perception, allowing me to see all that is provided around me, to help me.
If it gets weird, I know that I can rely on this emotional evidence to reinforce my awareness that the promise of experiencing serenity within calamity is manifesting in my life. I’m okay with that being the answer to my question “Why would any of this happen?”.
I’m so thankful for all of you who are holding space for smooth transitions that lead to the highest good for all 🙏🏼☺️